on spirituality, nature/art, crossword discipline, being straightedge

It's Ash Wednesday, when Christians burn last year's Palm Sunday palms and draw a cross on your forehead. And now, I'm sitting in the computer lab wondering if my appearance is being disregarded, considered, or remembered. But at the same time, I'm trying really hard not to have an itch on my brow. I'm not particularly religious. But I think it's important, and there are times when you're walking on a trail and the trees move in a pattern and the grass smells just right and it's a special moment of beauty. That's holy.

Spring break is next week, and I don't really have anything to do for a week, which is a pity. So I wanted to drive to Sand's Point and draw something. I should paint something. The least I can do is bring a watercolor set and get basic line and color down. I just need to do art over break, draw a landscape from life.

Crosswords are like hitting a brick every day. Sometimes you break it, sometimes you know how to break it, sometimes you just can't get a handle on it. But there's always a new brick every day.

I describe myself as 'straightedge', but I don't... there are people who.... there are things that just don't interest me, and they tend to be on the same plane of thought, even though common morals of society give them different values. Like, I don't smoke and my ears aren't pierced. I don't hate people who do things, illegal or not, but as long as they respect my decisions, I can usually respect theirs. If they're not killing themselves slowly.

I love the way people walk. Toes facing inwards, outwards, wide at the knees, one knee a little twisted. It's wonderful.

Prayer for a Midterm Paper

This is not the first time I've had to sit down and write a paper in a sitting.
It will not be the last time.
I just hope that I can express myself clearly, try not to use pretentious words, and still make the page amount without any stupid antics.
I hope that I will not make serious grammatical mistakes.
I hope that I will not be working on this paper during lunch tomorrow.
I hope I will be able to print it out in time.

"Education provides both society and the individual with methods of nonviolent expression."

"Like as the hart desireth the water-brooks".

I'm sure there will be similar posts by the end of the week, but I can't go to church around Easter without going over Jesus Christ Superstar (one of the only Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals I really like) and Godspell, that crazy, horrible, pathetically executed musical I preformed a few years ago.


My Easter my isn't made of peeps and chocolate. It's made of going to church for each holy day, reciting passages with hundreds of people (like a play), and singing the saddest, then happiest, music. Every piece in minor chords, then Easter happens, there's a rebirth, and the music is in major chords.


There's something special, though, about memorizing four-part-harmonies in Latin. When all the notes are together, when a chord resolves, when the sopranos actually hit that high G. It's like Fuerzebruta, when there's a ceiling of water and plastic. But this time, you're in that bubble, and there's something beautiful about it.


Now, there is much stac-work to be done, much research to do, and much pokemon to be played.

crusades

I've started Pokemon: Pearl. I named my character Saladin, and my rival, Richard. After all, the Third Crusade is the best.


I was on my way home from church tonight, and the car passed some teens walking in the street. I didn't see enough of them (see paragraph above), but I knew a few. They were walking around the neighborhood, possibly drunk, and I was on a different end of such a spectrum. It's so weird.


I drew a bit, but I left it in church.

Before easter, musicals

Today is the first day of Lent, the 40 days before Easter. No eating meat on Fridays, visit grandparents more often, go to church more, and give up something. I don't know what I'll give up. I think, though, that I'll say 'thank you' more, and have at least 2 out of 3 meals made by my own hands. This shouldn't be difficult.


Visited my grandparents today. Gramma is forgetful, Grandpa gives too much. They set a new record: there were 19 gallons of ice cream in the freezer.
I dug out Grandpa's old car, a beige 1991 Toyota Camry. It will be mine when I have a license. It has AM/FM, and a tape player, and it runs. I've named it Jimmy.


I found something interesting in a documentary about the Princess and the Frog. One of the lead animators talked about how Lassetter liked the look of the 50s-era disney (Cinderella, Peter Pan, Lady/Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, Alice). The art direction didn't lighten up until Dalmatians. I don't know why these stand out so much, but I just don't like them.
60's - '77 (Dalmatians to Pooh) and '89 to '99 (Mermaid to Tarzan).
Drawings from rehearsal today.

I'm not sure who this kid is. He reminds me of Barnaby from Hello Dolly, but with Peter Pan's voice from the disney movie. "I dunno, Cornelius." Someone was singing in a similar position at rehearsal, and I added the store-clerk outfit. The original 'Put on Your Sunday Clothes', which was the opening of the WALL-E soundtrack. Remember when actors had to dance and sing, and didn't have to look pretty?

Peter Pan Indians: Disney song, vs. the Mary Martin Version song.

should be watching the muppet show.

Ring-pops are so good.

I got more books today. I think it's a hoarding thing. I should organize them, just take a day from school to put everything in order and make sure my shelves are clean. At Williston Park day, the library stand was giving out bags. Fill it up for a dollar. I got things that looked nice, a textbook on experimental psychology, Stargate (movie), Bladerunner (must see it). about 20 things.

SHLURP SHURLP **crunch**.

I was at church this morning, and I wasn't paying attention. People in the choir should really pay attention, but i bring a book for the homily. That's when the priest stands in front and tries to relate some of the Gospel to our lives. This is what makes a good priest or a bad priest, and this guy just goes on for 15 minutes and he's old and I bring a book.

I think church is important. A lot of times, I don't agree with some of the people there, but the stories and morals are so important. I wish more people lived by all the good things, like 'love thy neighbor' and 'work hard and do good'. I don't believe religion and politics should be mixed. It's the 50s fault for that one. I don't want to be totally left or totally right, although i'll lean left most of the time. But there are a lot of people out there who don't want to listen. On both sides.

used some really sexy crayons today.

Listening to Heaven on their Minds, Jesus Christ Superstar. There's a rock bassoon solo.

6 periods of art today. Portfolio, AP Drawing, an off period that i spent drawing, and STAC.

The color design was during the off period, and the black and white update with the vest was from Economics.

"Pilfered Vest" "Multiple Belts" "Flowing Skirt" "Leggins" "Olive Oil shoes". Many spelling mistakes. The shirt on the other side is based on what this girl was wearing.

I guess I thought I would have more homework, but I don't. Just some readings, an essay here and there. Maybe I just manage things better. I'm done for a few days and I really need to find something to do.

EDIT 9:40: I love babysitting. There isn't really any other profession where you get to spend time eating ice cream and playing video games with a nice kid. The mother is basically a closet hedge-witch- I come in and the whole place smells like her boiled cinnamon tea. No wonder the cat wouldn't come in.

I guess it's sorta like the teenage version of 'playing house'.

put work up on animatedbuzz.

slowly falling down the path into magic the gathering and D&D. I love D&D too much. I want to make a character who is also the idea of a place.

Making an ancient history for my map. and a religion, since the area of The Bergan is based off the Holy Roman Empire. I'm totally basing it off catholictism, so that i don't piss off other types of christians. and because Christianity is based off Jewish and Pagan beliefs, i have to make those peoples too. Which got me into the whole ancient history mode.

One mountain is not colored in. FML.

school starts and im biding my time until then.

moleskin named mark.

FILMING OF SOuL Candy IS COMPLETE! and i've got some great drawings from the moleskin. im finding that the fold of the page doesn't matter much to me. it's not like the difference between the pages of a spiral notebook, it's almost a clean change from one side to the other. these are with a 'papermate sharpwriter', the mechanical pencil that is colored like a regular pencil. i've named this first book Mark, because that was the name of the gospel reading that day, and this is St. Rose of Lima from the choir loft. it's interesting to recognize the small differences between each apostle's telling (or some monk in europe's telling) of Jesus's death. I like the Superstar version, because it doesn't just blame Judas.

the monster from a Lovecraft story, who doesnt realize that everyone around him is running away from him. not monstrous enough. looks more like the sympathetic igor-zombie (different parts and brought back from dead) from a teen scifi book i forgot the name of. i needed to get the close-up of his eyes, and i need to get his body at different angles. i was going to have fangs, but the eyes said no. and a lady from the restaurant. and some SOuL Candy doodles.

i havent caught up on sleep from school yet, and on long, warm car rides i'll end up thinking between dream and awake. the only reason i know this is because ill be going through schedules or problems yet to solve and somehow get sidetracked and stop and realize wasn't i here in a dream before? haven't i thought in this method in a dream before? then i'll be awake.

thinking about the new mural-story-boardgamelooking project. first, my own story, then rewriting and redefining it through a children's story that people can relate to.