A Deep Breath and a Cup of Tea

Summer, and I always feel like I'm going to do something great and then something blocks the way. okay. I'm not that sick. I just feel lousy. A snot-nosed kid. Doesn't that make me an artist? Being scared by dreams, worrying over nothing, flying from one obsession to another? Does that even matter?

I was recently asked how well I know FinalCut. Is there a way to respond to that? I don't know how to measure how well I know a program, except with a quantity of time/experience and a example of quality. I wish I'd learned by a universal guide.

I've been playing Advanced Wars, Days of Ruin on DS. It's become a personal obsession that reminds me of how much I loved Fire Emblem until all my characters died.

When I was cleaning out my desk, I found a ton of drawings that reminded me of how raw my artwork was in high school. Raw, but so interesting. If I ever get my computer back together, if I ever get a desk to put it on, I'll scan those in. They'll be reprints, but they're still interesting. And I found a poem, too.

So after about 9 months of intensive training, what do we do now?

I don't know. I'm going to finish my tea.

The third: What I learned in college. Year 1.

Time is fluid. I often had many projects to work on for a week, and I had to figure out when I would do them, and fit this around constants. I have a painting due in a week and I'm not doing anything Monday night so I can get it done then but the homework for Wednesday needs to get done Tuesday morning so that I have time Tuesday evening to do Friday's homework. After weeks and weeks of thinking like this, I don't think in any other way.

High school did not prepare me for this time scheduling because if we had homework, it was probably due the next day. I think this forces procrastination. I think this evolution of thinking about time happened when I realized that if I get something done sooner, I don't worry about it.

I realized that as much as I dreaded my drawing class, Professor taught us how to think about the process of the drawing. It wasn't about pencil control or shapes, but about how to see the human figure from the inside out. We break down the human figure into the gesture and then simple shapes.

I learned:
How different kinds of light create color,
how to mix acrylic and oil paint,
how to create any color with the primary colors and white,
how to see color and shadow,
how to make a design interesting,
how to paint from a still life,
how to arrange a still life,
how to use InDesign, Illustrator, FinalCutPro,
how to generally use a Mac
how to mount anything on nice paper,
how to conceptualize a plan into a 3-dimentional shape,
how to cut and rip paper in a straight line,
how to quickly pack,
a decent amount of pre-1800s art history

and I don't know what else. There's a lot that's not in there.

The second: What I had in college. Year 1.

Since packing, bringing everything back, and repacking, I've had a lot of time to reflect on things I've had in college.

Also, not all of them are material. Being home, I sincerely miss not telling anyone where I'm going when I go out, having my own clean existence, and not being able to choose food without caring too much about the price.

I have a lot of stuff. So much stuff. An unbelieveable collection of useless knickknacks, art supplies, clothes, books. And I want to see how far I can go with de-cluttering. Not cleaning yet, just getting rid of all of this useless stuff that I don't use anymore. Make scrapbooks of things, pick up papers from the floor, and do I really need so many books? 3 bookshelves of books and I'm trying so hard to fill boxes for donation. Do I really need two different graphic novel versions of Macbeth? Why do I have these anyway?

There is a specific problem: I have an object that was either a gift or something from a younger me, and I don't know if throwing it out will upset anyone. It may take a few minutes for me to decide. Will my Aunt care if the ceramic teacup gets trashed? What about the "Soup Bible" cookbook I'll never use? Why can't I just get tickets or experiences for gifts instead of things? I keep as many of my tickets as I can, and they fit snugly on a shelf.

How can I throw out the relics of my early teenage years? Or even before that?

I also found and went through a lot of my old sketchbooks. I went through a lot more sketchbooks than I thought. I have a lot of empty ones, too. I shouldn't have to buy art supplies for at least 5 years.

But I've been working on it. I don't know if I'm being heartless and trying to forget middle/high school, or if I'm being realistic and forward-thinking. Probably a bit of both.

Art.

LCD is over, so here is some of the larger pieces of art that didn't fit in the scanner. They're all huge files, and photoshop'd the same way- re-sized, cropped, and making the lights lighter and the darks darker (but not a contrast difference).
1. I think it was a self-portrait at one point, but this is the luminosity painting I did over winter break. Acrylic on Cardboard.
2. the third of the 3d glasses set, this is somewhat cubist. Charcoal and Newspaper.
3. Abstract cubist luminosity/chiaroscuro painting. Acrylic.
4. Foreground, middleground, background exercise, with normal, faux, and sfumato color palettes. Color-aid.

The first: What I did in college. Year 1.

I wanted to start with a list of food. I didn't realize how much the food changes in college. I ate lunch and dinner in the cafeteria, and had cereal for breakfast. When my meal money piled up, I had cereal from the cafeteria. The best part, I think, is that I still have not completely exhausted all the kinds of food. But here are some things that I generally started eating more of and less of when I got to school:

More of
String beans, Broccoli, Ramen, Pork, Ice Cream, Fruit Smoothies, Honey, Muffins, Rice, Lettuce In Sandwiches, Tea x100

Less of
Burgers, Pizza, Fresh Fruit, Steak, Soup, Pie/Cake, Salad, Peanut-Butter and Jelly, Real Italian Food

Some things are good, some are bad. Overall, though, it's just been a different food experience. Next year, when I don't have a demanding food plan, I'll finally be able to enjoy Brooklyn.

more arts

These are two of a set of 4, all based around 3d glasses. I love both of them for very different reasons.

some arts

it's about time I got some art up here. These are still lifes with flowers and patterns, based on Matisse. Nice-quality watercolor set, but the purples were difficult. The top one is better, but the idea behind the second is more interesting- a silhouetted bouquet against the sunlight outside.

watercolor, i miss you

I finally got my hands on a water-bush- a synthetic brush with a little water compartment in the handle. Osmosis doesn't work quite as fast as I thought it might, so I'm consistently misjudging the amount of water that comes out.
     The pigments are actually really nice and condensed (besides lacking purple). 12- black, white, lemon yellow, golden yellow, ochre, crimson, vermilion (blood-orange), light red (?), yellow-green, viridian green, cobalt blue, and prussian blue (darker, less intense). all in a little box.
     It also comes with a sponge, which is crap and will be replaced by paper towel or jeans leg quite shortly.

Technique:
I have a habit of picking up excess color/water with a dry brush. Because your brush is also the source of water, you can't have a dry brush. In my brother's words, Roar.

Too. Much. Water.

Well, I'll keep going. Pics edited in later.