Been reading posts, and god you people are amazing.
I often need a Big Goal. Something I work hard for, concentrate on, care about, even become. Without someplace to go, I'm just standing still, I'm not Moving. STAC was a Big Goal in middle school and as a freshman. Then I found CalArts, and I'm scared of denial, but I worked for an answer. I want an answer O_O*
Luke mentioned a One Thing that changed someone in STAC, like Molly's connection to Let the Right One In. I was thinking, what other movies did we see? What shows? But I realized that my thing was myth.
So some repetition and reflection:
Core Values:
The Marriage of Art and Science
I don't know where I'd be without this. I need both in my life, even at the same time. Last year I took AP Bio, this year I'm taking AP Psych, and I need to know more and more about everything around me. Science includes history, too, but not like the classes in school. This comes from everything, basically: loving scifi, biology, keeping a garden, cooking, Star Trek, even a lot of superhero stuff.
Movement
I can't sit still, I can never sit still, and I'm always watching movement. Movement can be a change, but it's often a repetition. This is from modern art, where colors vibrate against each other beautifully. This comes from the mural, with it's repetition and change. A walk is a repeated motion, but nothing is the same about it. Something spinning is attractive, low musical vibrations, playing different notes that each have different feelings. The movement is related to
Resourcefulness
I love my books, I love the knowledge in them, I love being able to reference them. I love using things in place of what should go there. I'll use mugs for bowls and cups and even plates, and I keep jars and containers around. I don't like to throw things out because I could use them some day, like my art supplies. I like pulling out ideas and using them my own way. This is related to creativity (which is sometimes pulling out ideas and using them in a new order), but more about what I've learned. It's directly related to when I spend a long time researching something, and when I become angry when people don't do research for art.
These pop up in my art
Issues:
Communication
If I wasn't in STAC I probably would have given up on trying to communicate important things verbally. It doesn't work for me. The blog has helped my language, and there are a few people who understand my meaning. When I have nothing to say, I go silent. I can talk, but I'm inadequate when it comes to the important things.
In-Between
I like finding the places in between. The name partly comes from a Sandman story, where the personification of Delirium says she likes planes because they aren't really a place, but an in-between place. Which is true. Lately I've been working on putting together 2D and 3D, in a way after Secret of Kells and The Thief and the Cobbler. I live for having things done but not quite done, started and not finished, used but not depleted.
One-Up
Like the mushroom. I like not just doing well, but doing very well. It's an idea that I think was in Ender's Game: you can't just win. You have to make sure you don't have to fight again. It's also a competition in school, and it shouldn't be. I have to have the best sword in a video game, I have to have questions answered with 'yes'. I can throw blame out to society, but I'm the one that has to change for it. And being nice and caring can't help a selfish child. It's scary because it's the beast. Freud would have a field day.
Repetition
Similar to above, I live for repetition. Everything repeats, everything in the world.
Alone vs. Lonely
Being Alone is thinking in the shower, thinking about your day before sleeping, getting lost in a book. Lonely is needing someone else, eating alone at a table, being in the city, not being listened to.
Reality vs. What Could Be
This sort of ties in with the science. What could be. There are so many options out there, but there's also the reality of now. It's like 1 vs. Forever.
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